Girlfriends On…Discouragement

Shelley Galbreath

 Life is complicated, hectic, fast-paced, and often times the unexpected can cause undue stress. Let’s face it, things go wrong. People get sick; they lose jobs; marriages struggle; family members die; finances fall apart. Sometimes we find ourselves facing an unknown future – one that we thought we’d never have to face.

 In addition, as women, we struggle to balance family and career, wearing multiple hats without losing our mind in the process. Our needs take a back seat to the needs of others and we fail to nurture the deep recesses of our own soul. What happens then? We become discouraged. When you look up the word discouraged, you’ll find a definition something like this: made less hopeful or enthusiastic, to deprive of courage,hope, or confidence, to dishearten, to dispirit. Yes, that’s exactly the way many of us feel when our world is careening out of control. So how do we stop the roller coaster ride? How do we begin to focus on ourselves and meet our own needs for a change? I believe it begins with learning to make time for ourselves, to do things that we enjoy, and to nurture relationships with other women.

 Friendships with other women are so important. Friendship is the cornerstone of life, the place where we, as women, can be ourselves. Yet, when demanding schedules and daily responsibilities distract us from appreciating life’s most priceless gifts, we sometimes neglect to cultivate friendships. The following is an excerpt from my devotional, Discouraged Moms’ Devotions to Go, where I discuss the importance of friendships with other women. It reads, “Friendship truly is a gift from God. A good friend laughs with you, cries with you, and stands beside you no matter what trial you are facing. A good friend listens to your dreams and never doubts. Instead she helps you grow and believe the best in yourself when no one else does. Friends are treasures who enrich life and help us to realize our dreams.”

 My own girlfriends have played an integral part in my life, growing me into the woman I am today. I am blessed to have many girlfriends, any one whom I can go to for advice, counsel, support, or just to sit down with a cup of tea and converse. It’s the belief of Girlfriend 2 Girlfriend that strong relationships give our lives a solid foundation, and without that solid foundation, we have trouble withstanding difficulties. I agree. A rock solid friendship allows us to be real, to remove the masks we’ve worn for years and expose our hurts, our heartaches, our discouragements. 

 I know I would not be where I am today, I would not be writing on this topic without my girlfriends. I encourage you to make room for friends, real friends whether they are old friends or new friends, and then when discouragements come your way, you’ll have a rock solid foundation of support to hold you up under the trial.

 I know firsthand how challenging it can be to carve out time for nurturing friendships with other women. But there are ways we can carve out that time. Listed below you will find some ideas for simplifying life and reducing stress, which will in turn give you the precious time you need to enhance your friendships with other women, which will increase your joy…even in the midst of your discouragements.

1.     Consider Your Options

It is important to take  the time to consider our options and to evaluate the choices so that we have time to work, time to play (with our girlfriends) and time to make sure our life is as fulfilling as it can be.

2.     Plan Effectively

How do we achieve that elusive balance in our lives? It takes effective and determined planning and it takes action. Whether you use a day planner, a PDA, or simply make a to-do list, it’s important to plan effectively in order to make the time for friendships with other women. If you’re having trouble carving out some girlfriend time, try marking an allotted time off in your day planner or PDA and then use it solely to enhance your relationships with your girlfriends.

3.     Declutter

There are few things more discouraging than having more stuff than we have places to put it. Here’s a suggestion for decluttering. Set up four containers with the following labels: (1) keep -  for items you want to keep; (2) give away/sell - for things you no longer need or want but might be of use to someone else; (3) storage - for things that you feel you may need, but not soon; (4) trash, which is self-explanatory. Once you go through the home and declutter, it will only takeyou a few minutes each day to keep areas clutter-free, which in turn, reduces stress.

4.     Turn off Distractions

Eliminating unnecessary distractions is an important part of making time for the important things, especially our friendships with other women. Distractions may be the television, XBOX or another video game, the computer, the telephone – really anything that distracts you and ultimately wastes time. Once you turn off your distractions, then you’ll have more time for more important things…like spending time with your girlfriends!

5.     Just Say No

This is a difficult topic for many women because we find it difficult to say “no”. It’s really okay to say “no” to activities – even good activities, if you know it is going to cause you to be stressed. Several years ago I learned firsthand I can’t do it all, no matter how much I want to. You can’t either. Why not take the time to evaluate your activities and make sure there isn’t something you should be saying “no” to.  Remember, saying “no” to something you’d rather not be doing will ease your stress and allow you the time to do something with your girlfriends.

Now…pick up the phone and schedule an outing with one of your girlfriends. I promise you, you’ll be glad you did!